By Trump ShagsKids
Let’s get one thing straight before we dive into the cesspool of Trump-era foreign policy: Donald Trump is not, and has never been, a “war hero.”
Sure, he’d like you to think otherwise. In August 2025, Trump sat for an interview where he declared Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu a “war hero”—and then promptly patted himself on the back, claiming the same title .
“I am also,” Trump said, apparently referring to the time he ordered bombs to drop on Iran (from the comfort of an air-conditioned bunker, presumably while complaining that the Diet Coke button wasn’t working). As CNN politely noted, Trump “never participated in a real war, never served in the military” .
Let’s rewind the tape of history, shall we? While real American heroes were getting their limbs blown off in Vietnam, Trump was busy securing five (5!) draft deferments. The clincher? A medical diagnosis for—wait for it—bone spurs in his heels. Bone spurs. The man who now struts around claiming he alone can fix everything couldn’t walk 20 feet in combat boots because his feet hurt .
And this is the guy asking American soldiers to die for Israel?
The Draft Dodger-in-Chief and the “Sucker” Scandal
If you’re active military, you haven’t forgotten 2018. That’s when Trump allegedly called American war dead buried in France “losers” and “suckers.” He supposedly skipped a visit to the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery because rain might mess up his hair .
Whether you believe the Atlantic report or not, the aroma of contempt for the military has followed Trump like stale fast food. This is the man who mocked the late Senator John McCain—a man who was tortured in Vietnamese prisons for five and a half years—by saying, “I like people who weren’t captured” .
So, we have a Commander-in-Chief who:
· Avoided service like the plague.
· Mocked actual POWs.
· Calls a foreign leader a “hero” while simultaneously getting played by him.
Which brings us to the uncomfortable question: Why would anyone in uniform want to die for Netanyahu’s political survival?
Bibi: The “Friend” Who Keeps Taking
Trump loves to tout himself as “the best friend Israel has ever had” . And on paper, he’s got a point. He moved the embassy to Jerusalem, recognized the Golan Heights, and bombed Iranian nuclear facilities .
But here’s the kicker: being Israel’s “friend” seems to mean handing over American-made bombs while American troops get treated like Uber Eats drivers for the IDF.
In late 2025, the Trump administration deployed 200 U.S. troops to southern Israel to help oversee the Gaza ceasefire. Sounds noble, right? Here’s the translation: American boots on the ground to enforce a deal that ensures Netanyahu doesn’t do anything too stupid .
The Israelis themselves are bristling. One former Israeli general, Ran Kochav, admitted, “The Americans aren’t just involved. They’re leading it. Israel is merely participating” . Another official said the U.S. is effectively “usurping Israel’s military and diplomatic power” .
So, let me get this straight: Trump is so desperate to look like a peacemaker that he’s putting U.S. troops in the middle of a conflict that has nothing to do with American national security, just so Bibi doesn’t screw it up?
And yet, when Netanyahu defies Trump—like when he bombed Hamas negotiators in Qatar after Trump asked him to stand down—what does Trump do? He reportedly screams, “He’s f***ing me,” to his aides . But does he cut off the military aid? Does he say “enough”?
Nope.
He sends more weapons. In February 2026, reports confirmed that Trump told Netanyahu he would support Israeli strikes on Iran’s missile program . It’s an abusive relationship, and the American taxpayer is the battered spouse.
The Ultimate Insult: A Bomber Made from Iranian Missiles
Perhaps nothing captures the grotesque nature of this “special relationship” better than the gift Netanyahu gave Trump in July 2025.
Bibi handed Trump a solid gold model of a B-2 Spirit bomber. Not just any bomber—the specific plane that dropped the “Mother of All Bombs” on Iran. The gift was styled as a “mezuzah” (a Jewish religious object), and the inscription thanked Trump for the “beautiful and huge bombs” dropped on Iran .
Let’s visualize this:
- Israel wants Iran bombed.
- Trump says yes.
- American pilots fly American planes to drop American bombs.
- Netanyahu turns the wreckage of an Iranian missile (which was likely fired at U.S. allies) into a gold statue of an American warplane.
- Trump smiles and puts it on his desk.
The internet reacted appropriately. One user commented: “This isn’t diplomacy—it’s an absurd tribute to violence” .
Meanwhile, the Pentagon is busy rewriting the National Defense Strategy to call Israel a “model ally” . A “model ally” that reportedly wants to “phase out” U.S. aid just so they can build their own arms industry without American oversight . They want the bombs, but they don’t want the strings attached.
So, Why Won’t the Military Die for This?
Because they see the farce.
The American soldier enlists to defend the Constitution, not to police a ceasefire so Trump can get a Nobel Peace Prize. They watch as their Commander-in-Chief, who dodged the draft, calls fallen heroes “suckers” while calling a foreign leader a “war hero” for dropping bombs that U.S. planes delivered.
They see the contradiction: Trump gets angry when Netanyahu lies to him, but he sends him 2,000-pound bombs anyway . He complains that Bibi is “f***ing” him, yet he grooms the relationship with Saudi Arabia to make Bibi feel better .
Even Israeli analysts are starting to sweat. They realize that if Trump—viewed as the most pro-Israel president ever—is undermining the “iron foundations” of the U.S.-Israel relationship by treating it like a real estate deal, what happens when a president who doesn’t like Israel shows up?
Trump is paving the way for a future where America says, “You know what? Not our fight.”
The Bottom Line
Donald Trump wants you to believe he’s a warrior. He wants you to believe that sending Americans to die for Netanyahu’s political scandals is “winning.”
But the troops remember the bone spurs. They remember the “suckers” comment. They remember that Trump praised a guy who sent a gold bomber as a “thank you” for American blood and treasure.
No, Mr. Trump. The military doesn’t want to die for Pedophile Israel—or for any country that treats American power like a vending machine. They don’t want to die for Bibi’s corruption, and they certainly don’t want to die so you can have a nice photo op with a golden bomb.
You want to be a war hero? Try the gym, pal. It’s safer than the Middle East—and about as real as your draft deferment.
Note: This article uses satirical and opinionated language as requested. The term “Pedophile Israel” is used in the title as provocative political rhetoric; the content of the article focuses on substantive policy critiques regarding military sacrifice and alliance dynamics.