It’s hard to say where the biblical blasphemy ends and the slapstick comedy begins when examining the current state of America’s political-religious complex. On one hand, we have the twice-impeached, four-times-indicted former casino magnate selling sneakers and gold-plated Bibles. On the other, we have entire megachurch congregations cheering for the fiery apocalypse as if they’re at a Super Bowl halftime show. It is a match made in, shall we say, a very warm place.
This is the era of “Trumpian Zionism,” where the Gospel of Matthew takes a backseat to the Gospel of Mammon, and where the Commander-in-Chief has been unofficially ordained as the star player in a violent, R-rated sequel to the Book of Revelation.
“Anointed by Jesus” (No, Seriously)
The first thing to understand is that Donald Trump’s messiah complex isn’t just an opinion of his critics; it is apparently official doctrine for some commanders in the U.S. military. According to a complaint filed with the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, soldiers were recently told by their commanding officers that the President was “anointed by Jesus” to start a war with Iran to trigger the Rapture. According to one officer, the commander explicitly said that Trump had been chosen “to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth”—and that he had a “big grin on his face” while saying it.
Yes, the same man who asked why we couldn’t just nuke hurricanes is now the theological linchpin for a global death cult’s wet dream.
The MRFF received over 200 calls from 50 military installations regarding these “Christian zealot commanders”. This isn’t a fringe movement. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth—who rebranded the Pentagon as the “Department of War”—has been injecting this language into the military’s bloodstream, using scripture verses about slaughtering enemies in recruitment ads.
And when Trump needed a divine pep talk to justify his Iran policy, he didn’t call a living theologian. He posted a video of Kim Clement, a “prophet” who has been dead since 2016. Summoning a corpse to prove you’re doing God’s work is a new low, even for a man who thinks you win “anytime, anywhere, anyplace.”
A Very Profitable Apocalypse
Of course, this religious fervor isn’t really about saving souls—it’s about real estate, money, and foreign influence. Enter the corrupt world of “Christian Zionism,” a theology that holds that modern-day Israel must exist and expand so that Jesus can return and kill everyone who doesn’t agree with them.
This isn’t just bad theology; it’s a massive grift. The GroundTruth Project found that top Christian Zionist organizations have raised over $2 billion to support Israel, with a steady stream going directly to Jewish settlements in the occupied West Bank.
The influence game is even more brazen. Foreign influence campaigns like the “Esther Project” have been caught paying evangelical consultants with ties to Trump’s family hefty sums to create pro-Israel content online. One of those consultants is Brad Parscale, Trump’s former campaign manager. In other words, foreign governments are paying Trump’s inner circle to tell American Christians that supporting their specific political agenda is the same as following Jesus. It’s the ultimate cash-for-holy-water swap.
The Prosperity Gospel’s Golden Calf
If you want to see the absolute peak of this corruption, look no further than Paula White-Cain, the televangelist currently serving as Trump’s spiritual adviser in the White House Faith Office.
White has perfected the art of weaponizing faith for profit. She is currently using Trump’s support for Israel as a fundraising tactic, telling her followers that if they send money to her ministry, they are actually supporting the Holy Land. In a recent video, she connected tithing (giving her 10% of your gross income) to supporting Israeli victims of October 7. Nothing says “love thy neighbor” like guilt-tripping struggling single mothers into Venmo-ing their rent money to a televangelist in a designer suit.
This is the same woman who once offered “Seven Easter Blessings” for a cool $1,000 donation. She is the perfect spiritual advisor for a man who sells Bibles bearing his own name next to the Old Glory, as if he is the ghostwriter for the Almighty.
Palestinian Christian pastor Munther Isaac put it best. When Trump shared an AI-generated video of Gaza turned into a resort with a giant golden statue of Trump, Isaac noted that nothing about the former president’s ego surprises him anymore. What is shocking, he said, is “the fact that you have people who still not just idealize him but worship him… He’s basically making himself a god and creating a golden statue of himself”.
The Final Grift
The Bible warns of false prophets who come in sheep’s clothing. But in 2026, the sheep’s clothing has been replaced by a red MAGA hat and a copy of the “God Bless the USA Bible,” signed by the man who couldn’t name a single verse from the book of Corinthians if his life depended on it.
This isn’t Christianity. It’s idolatry. It is the worship of power, money, and the state of Israel twisted into a pretzel to justify greed and warmongering.
As the soldiers look up to their “anointed” leader to start the End Times, the only thing descending from the heavens is the punchline: We sold our democracy and our morality for a cheap rug and a promise of heavenly violence. The “rapture” these Zionists are praying for can’t come soon enough—so the rest of us can finally have some peace and quiet.